What Are Red Flags In a Relationship
Red flags are warning signs that can hint at unhealthy, toxic, or manipulative behaviors from a spouse.
These are more complicated than simply getting the ick from someone because they don’t wash their dishes right after they eat or chew very loudly. These aren’t just behavioral quirks.
Red flags are things that your partner does that indicate a lack of respect, trust, or integrity toward you and the relationship.
Red flags can be a sign of narcissism, victimization, or even abusive behavior. They can be a good indicator that it may be time to reconsider the person you’re getting involved with and avoid getting mixed up in a toxic relationship.
It can be really hard to identify red flags due to their subtle nature, so I’m here to help.
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Red Flags To Look Out For and What They Mean
Although it may be difficult to admit that a relationship may not be perfect or even just healthy, it’s important to accept it when red flags just seem to dominate.
Red Flag 1: Very Controlling Behavior
When someone tries to control your every thought, decision, or even belief, they are putting themselves first and have no regard for you in any way.
You should be able to be free and relaxed around the person you are with and not feel like you’re a prisoner who’s living on a schedule.
Being in a relationship should feel like being in a functioning team. If one person seems to constantly hone all the power and exerts it over the other, this is a major red flag.
Controlling behavior can also manifests as them constantly trying to drive a wedge between you and your friends, family, and even your career.
Red Flag 2: Irrational Lack of Trust
Trust is maybe the most important aspect of a healthy relationship.
If your partner constantly accuses you of lying or being unfaithful when you have given them no reason at all to feel that way can be a sign that they are not trustworthy themself and are simply exuding their insecurities onto you.
The same can also be said if you feel like your partner is hardly honest and suspect they are cheating. If they constantly give you reasons to suspect so.
A healthy functional relationship can only exist with trust from all persons involved.
Red Flag 3: They Break You Down
When you’re around your partner you should feel confident and loved.
If they don’t seem committed to supporting and uplifting you but rather badger you and tear you down, you need something to change immediately.
Your partner shouldn’t make you feel insecure and like you need to change aspects of yourself to better suit them. They shouldn’t lower your self-esteem by gaslighting, using snarky jokes or just being upfront and belittling you.
Red Flag 4: They Are Extremely Selfish
This can be directly related to a sort of narcissistic behavior.
Your partner may act self-obsessed and feel an overly high sense of importance. They put themselves first all the time and hardly consider you when making decisions even when they directly impact you.
They believe that they are more important than you are and that the world revolves around them. Their needs will always be put first and considered more important.
Red Flag 5: Anger Management Issues
Having a partner who cannot control their anger might cause you to feel unsafe and anxious during conflicts (which are a big part of any healthy relationship).
If a partner cannot control their emotions when they are upset, this can be an early sign of an abusive partner and you should be very wary of this.
You should be able to have amicable disagreements with your partner and voice your opinions without being weary of their reaction afterward, even when it’s a difficult subject, and not fear for your safety.
Anger should not be an intimidation tactic.
Red Flag 6: They Avoid Conflicts
Avoiding conflict will not protect a relationship, it will result in small easy resolvable issues building up over weeks or months into bigger resentments that will soon blow up into a massive argument.
Avoiding these difficult topics can be a sign that your partner is not emotionally mature and stable and may not be ready for a serious long-term relationship.
Red Flag 7: Physical, Emotional, or Mental Abuse
These may be the most alarming red flag of all. Actually, this one is a flaming red fire!
While physical abuse may be easy to identify and pin down, mental and emotional abuse can be difficult to identify and acknowledge. And by the time it is recognized and you start dealing with it, long-term damage may already have been done.
Needless to say, any form of abuse should not be tolerated and can be extremely dangerous. If you fear your partner may be abusive, get out. Put yourself first and trust your gut.
What To Do When You Notice Red Flags In Your Relationship
When it comes to relationship red flags, the best way to handle them is early, honestly, and fairly.
Open an honest dialogue with your partner, express your concerns and feelings, and let them do the same.
Keep your needs in mind, communicate clearly and often, and try to keep your emotions in check.
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